Somewhere towards the end of 2009, I came to school and saw a really cute boy that was apparently new. Later on I met his sister who found out that I liked him so she tried to set us up at a sleepover. Her name was Shayna.
It didn’t workout but I got to know Shayna really well and we instantly became best friends.
My mom got a new job that required her to travel around the country a lot so I basically moved in with Shayna;s family. Even though they didn’t have much, they took me in because of how much they loved me. We were all very close. Though Shayna and her mom did fight a lot.
We started going to a church where Shayna met her boyfriend Brandon. I didn’t like him at first because of how cocky he was, but after seeing how much he made Shayna happy I…got use to him… He and I found things to bond over eventually like Dane Cook and… actually I think Dane Cook was the only we liked about each other. Either way, he was cool.
The thing about Shayna and Brandon is… I have never seen a love so powerful… It was 100%, undeniably, no mistaking it true love. Yes, they were young but I swear to you nothing could have torn them apart. Her mother hated him and he still stayed with her. He would send her poems, flowers, and tell her how much he loved her nonstop for two years straight. Love like that came around once in every thousand years… And this time it was theirs<3
The time came when my parents got a divorce. I was happy. I never liked my step dad. But that’s beside the point. The only trouble was that I had to leave Shayna and move to Colorado with my mom and her new boyfriend. Shayna;s family assured me that I was always welcome to move in with them but my mom wouldn’t allow it.
My mom and brother drove to Colorado without me. I stayed an extra week for Shayna’s sweet sixteen. It was amazing. There was a limo, we went to California Pizza Kitchen and then partied at Dave and Busters. She had on the most beautiful dress.
They took me to the airport the next day. Shayna kissed my cheeks as I cried and hugged her good bye. I told her I would visit all the time.
And I did. Every couple of months my mom would fly me down to her and I would stay with them for weeks. We saw Transformers 3 together and Breaking Dawn part 1. I hated leaving every time.
We were at a hotel and my brother and his friends started doing drugs. Shayna got scared and started crying and called her mom to pick her up. She was supposed to go to Colorado with me that week but my mom and hers got into a big fight…
That was the last time I saw her.
Everyday I would write on her Facebook wall how much I loved her and she would write back. We skyped and still promised we’d move into together as soon as we turned 18.
November 13th 2011
Shayna’s mom posted on Facebook: ‘Shayna and her friend Fatima ran away…’
I got scared when I heard they had called the police. I wished so badly I could go and look for her but I was all the way in Colorado! So I bought a police scanner app and tracked it to the Arizona Gilbert police to hear anything of her. I can’t remember if I did or not. I stayed up all night just listening. I went to school the next day. Everyone told me I looked tired but I didn’t feel it. I was shaking and scared to death for my sister.
I went to sleep that night because I had a huge science project due the next day.
My phone was off.
November 16th, 2011
My mom comes in with hot tea and red blotchy eyes.
"You’ve been working so hard lately…" she told me.
I found that unusual because I really hadn’t. I had bad grades at the time and she was usually fussing over it.
I sat up and asked sleepily, “What’s wrong?”
She sniffed and sat down on my bed.
"Shayna passed away last night."
"No, she didn’t," was the first thing to come out of my lips.
"She got hit by a car," my mom continued.
"No, she didn’t," I repeated.
"I’m so sorry," my mother sobbed.
"No, she didn’t!" I began crying too. I screamed into my pillow and bawled for about an hour. My mom told me I wasn’t going to school that day. But I insisted I had to for my project. It was half my grade. I got there late and waited in the hallway for the first class to end. I turned on my phone for the first time that day and found a bunch of different messags from Shayna. I listened to the voicemail she left me.
"Katie…*sobs*…I can’t do it…It’s physically killing me…*loud crying and cars passing in the distance* Please…help me…!”
That was before I learned she jumped in front of a car to kill herself.
She and her mother fought all the time. She was a very impulsive girl and I don’t think she was thinking clearly that night. So she jumped. We know that because the police had reports of her trying to jump in front of other cars.
When they did an autopsy on her body they found out she was pregnant.
Brandon tried to kill himself when he found that out by overdosing on ambient. His mom found him and rushed him to the hospital.
I couldn’t even go to her funeral because my mom didn’t have the money to fly me back down to Arizona. We had just went on vacation and spent $34,000. I despised her for that for a long, long time.
After a few months of pure grief Brandon and I became closer than ever - not in a romantic way! But thensomething changed… he dropped all contact with me and I haven;t heard from him in months!
I don’t know how to end this post… I just miss the old days I suppose. I miss her.